feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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