I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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