you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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