Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
