I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
