Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
