I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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