basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
