Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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