I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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