After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
