you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
