y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
