I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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