And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
PS: I just woke up from my shower
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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