love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
