There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
