Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
