if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
