you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
