gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
