You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize