I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
