Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
