Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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