I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
