It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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