he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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