And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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