i don't like sucking hair
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
