community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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