The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
