I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
barbara walters just said penis...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
