Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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