so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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