My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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