she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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