i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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