Buhtt sex?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
