Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
