The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
