If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
nutella sex= disaster
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
