reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
