She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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