You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize