I want to walk on stilts...naked
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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