i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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