I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
