10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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