Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
