Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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