ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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