I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The adults are the big ones right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
