just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
