We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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