quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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