There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
