I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
