I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
