People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
