doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
