I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Houston, we have a blender
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
