i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
