Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
