you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
