Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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